I remember

10 years ago-when the world changed forever-I was living in Lakeland Florida.  I was attending Southeastern Bible College and I had only been there a few weeks. We didn't have our cable set up-or internet. I was just learning the personalities of the other girls in my dorm hall. There were two girl who were very loud, over the top and not always truthful. It was from them my roommate Krystal and I first heard the news.

We were on our way to chapel services when the two girls started yelling "A plane hit New York! The world is ending! We're under attack!"  Krystal and I glanced at each other but didn't believe a word. It wasn't until we arrived at Chapel and the college President called everyone to attention and told us what had happened.  I remember my heart pounding. I couldn't fathom what was happening. All around me, people were crying.  The President let the kids from New York use his cell phone to call home. We prayed.

Each time we were called to attention, we were given worse news. The Pentagon being hit. The first, and then second, tower falling. I just couldn't imagine.

Classes were not cancelled that day. We were told, if we gave up and hid; stopping our lives, it would be a win for the terrorists. Being a Tuesday, I had no classes that day. After we were dismissed, we made our way back to the dorms and I saw my first images of the chaos in New York in my RA's dorm room, the only working TV in our building.  I don't remember ever crying. It made me feel numb.  It made me feel very alone, being a thousand miles away from my family.

I tried to call home. My mom worked nights and was sleeping, my father had little to say and wouldn't wake her up.  I called and talked to my grandparents for a short time.  I didn't feel much better after that.  It was a time when you wanted to be with your loved ones and I was with people who were basically strangers.

My dorm mates and I decided that we wanted to do something; so we all went to the blood bank to donate.  I remember sitting in the waiting room-watching the images on the TV screen and still feeling shock-but also watching the streams of people coming in to donate blood. Americas taking what little action they could, thousands of miles away from the tragedy.  Because I was anemic, I wasn't able to give blood that day.  It made me sad that I couldn't do my part, couldn't contribute in even that tiny way.

It took them quite a while to get our cable set up at college. I didn't see many of the images of 9-11 until the first anniversary.

And now it's 10 years later. It's hard to believe it has been 10 years.  I think it was always feel like yesterday. I will always remember what I felt, even so far removed from what happened.  I'll remember the horror of seeing those first images, the chill of loneliness and longing for my close family. I'll always remember feeling proud and honored to be an American as I heard the stories of the heroes of that day-even years later.  And that feeling of awe as I sat in a blood bank in Lakeland, Florida and watched people arriving in droves to do their tiny part to help.

I have two boys who are just learning a tiny bit about what happened that day.  I will not hide these events from them.  This is a part of their history but has also molded the future that they live in. Being 8 and 3, they don't grasp 100% what 9-11 represents.

Yesterday was the first time Grady had vocalized an understanding for the pictures he saw.  I was watching an online tribute and he stood next to me.  He saw a picture of the plane hitting the tower and says:

"Oh! What happened?"
"An airplane hit the building."
"Who did that?"
"Bad guys made the airplane do that."
"Bad guys? That's bad!"  He sees pictures of people crying and asks "Why they sad?"
"Because the bad guys crashed the airplanes and people died."
He is quiet for a beat and then says "Oh." and finishes watching the video in silence.

At three, how much could he really understand?  But I think, for the first time, it touched him a tiny bit, that this was something monumental.

I will never forget. I will always remember. My children will learn about what happened on that day, and the many days that followed.

I am PROUD to be an American.

God Bless America.