Toes!

Guess who has discovered his toes???

Five Months Old

Seriously?? Already?!

Four Years Old!

Today my beautiful, wonderful, funny middle son turns 4 years old. I can not believe he is so old already! It feels like just yesterday, I was bringing him home from the hospital.


Or he was getting ready to dig into his first birthday cake-


Or he was an ornery little two year old-


Or my silly three year old-


But now my baby is Four.

He's a little man now, FULL of adventure and spirit. He loves Star Wars and pirates. He roots for the bad guys. He likes orange, like his brother. He's still a picky eater and just wants Macaboni for his birthday dinner. He's a wonderful big brother to his baby. He's done wonderful in therapy this year and was discharged from speech therapy. He loves to read and finger paint. He always wants to be outside. He has the best laugh I have ever heard and I hope it never changes. He can't wait until he's tall enough to ride the big roller coasters at Cedar Point (that could take a while....). He loves his kitty, his toys and his new big boy bed.

He loves his Mommy and Daddy and Brothers, his Mam-maw, Uncles and GG. His best friend is James and they are BIG trouble together. And he is SO SO silly.

This morning, I asked him how it feels to be 4 years old and he told me:

"It feels old. I feel like an old man. Like Yoda."

Ah Grady-I love you so much. You bring so much joy and laughter to my life and everyone around you. People just can't help but smile when they are around you.

I couldn't imagine a moment without you.

4th birthday-Jedi Style

My little Grady is about to turn 4 years old on the 22nd and this weekend was his BIG party. He's been telling people for a good month that he's going to have a "saw waaaars party." (Many, many people thought he was having a shower party but no....Star Wars.)  He was so excited and counting down the number of "sleeps" before party day.

For weeks, I browsed pintrest to find ideas for his Star Wars Party and between that and my Mom's ideas, I think we pulled it off pretty well!


A large view of the party table.

Wish I had a Leia picture of Leia chips....but Grady wanted me to use the Darth Maul one.


Han Solo in grape "Carbonite" jello. Big hit with fellow Star Wars nuts.

These were GREAT for little fingers. I used fancy toothpicks for the Grape Sabers. Grady and his friend Mylee LOVED eating the grapes off of swords. The Pretzel Sabers are just small pretzels dipped in chocolate. The perfect size for little hands.

Asteroid (yes...I know it's spelled wrong) Candy......Chocolate rock candy. The kids got a kick out of eating rocks.

We've had this recipe for years from the Star Wars Cookbook (yes, there is a Star Wars cookbook.....2 actually.)  They are very yummy. Two kinds of chocolate chips and a hint of cinnamon.

We decided to go with cupcakes instead of one big cake. My Mom did a wonderful job making and decorating them. I found a wonderful book at the party store that had a ton of Star Wars decorations. These were supposed to be table confetti but we tapes toothpicks to them and instant cupcake decortations!
 



Yoda Soda. Looks disgusting; tastes yummy! It's just lime sherbet and Sprite (or 7Up...but I hate 7Up.)

Another concoction from the Star Wars Cookbook. Mini hot dogs wrapped in breadsticks to resemble TIE fighters. They tasted good hot or cold!

The birthday boy and his Star Wars themed table

Present time!





Grady's big present was a trampoline. After talking to his therapists we decided he would really benefit from it. He has some trunk and upper body weakness (he also JUST learned how to jump in the past year.) so this will be some great exercise for him!

And shockingly the Ohio weather was nice enough for the kids to play outside in February! First time in since Grady was born that we haven't had a blizzard on his birthday!

And it all makes for a very tired Jedi at the end of the day. Grady had a wonderful birthday party and is still talking about how much fun he had! Thanks everyone for coming and sharing this special day with us!

frustrations

I had hoped 2012 would be a better year than the hellish 2011 but so far, things haven't turned out that way.

The nightmares that arose in 2011 keep trudging on. Will we ever have him out of our lives? Will we ever be able to heal? I don't know anymore.

Tax time was supposed to be a happy time this year. The boys are getting new beds. We were going to catch up on our house payment, trade in our car so we could get out from under that oppressive loan and into something more affordable (and a car that fits our family.). We were going to pay back a debt. Take the kids to Kalahari. And most important of all; get Aiden adopted.

But all that has been put on hold now. Almost 3 years ago we filed bankruptcy and a student loan I had was supposed to be included. I thought it was a private loan, not government and I hadn't heard from the company in over a year. But we received notice on Saturday that they took our entire tax return. I was devastated. I'm STILL struggling with it. Thankfully there is some good news. I didn't work at all and all the income was Brett's so he will be able to file to have it returned. It's going to take a few months before we get the money and it's going to be very hard waiting; putting all the bills on hold is going to be difficult. And the boys did get their new beds with our state return....and they love them! (pictures coming soon!)

On top of all that; my computer is frizzing out again. My profile became compromised and wouldn't open. So I had to create a new one and in the process I lot a lot of things; including a recipe book I had worked on since before Liam was born. (Thankfully I had a copy printed off but I was going to give another copy as a gift for a friend.) On top of that, something is going on with my pictures. I can only access about 15% of them and the others I can't. I am just so frustrated.

So yeah. Things have not been easy so far.....they haven't even been good. I've been frustrated and stressed. Angry and sad. Somedays I feel hopeless. I'm trying. I'm trying to get through each day with a smile because it's what my kids deserve but on the inside I feel like screaming and hiding in my bed.

Life isn't always easy, that I know. And it really isn't fair. I keep hoping and praying that things will turn around. That the light at the end of the tunnel will finally reach us. Maybe. Hopefully. Someday it has to come true, right?

Grady-isms

My Grady comes up with some good little sayings. He is such a funny guy. If you need a laugh today...here are a few "grady-isms".

Me: Ok little guys, lets go home!
Grady: I'm not a little guy. I'm a medium guy!

Grady: Who made this cold? (while walking into the zoo)
Me: I don't know Grady. Who do you think?
Grady: Maybe Jesus.
Me: Oh yeah?
Grady: Yeah because God is in the potty.
Me: WHAT?
Grady: Yeah God is in the potty cause he had to pee and Jesus made it cold.
Me: oooookay.

Grady: Can I run?
Me: Sure.
Grady turns and looks at his friend James, who is attached to a monkey leash
Grady: Your stuck on a Monkey! (and runs away!)

Grady's working with the Physical Therapist.
PT:  You have to work hard so your muscles get big and strong
Grady: I don't have no muscles. I just little and have no muscles so I can't work hard.

He sure keeps it interesting around here!!!