Ugh...I need to vent and rant a bit because.....today is just one of those days. One of those days where I really do not like my child. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE my child but his behavior today (and in recent days) makes me really really not like him.
Aiden's adhd. He's been on the same meds and dosage since the beginning of the school year and they have worked very well all year. But he has also grown almost 3 inches and gained weight. So by may/early june there was signs that his medication wasn't as effective. At his June appt last week (he goes to the dr every month for a re-check on behavior and blood pressure/weight gain etc) I mentioned that his behavior was getting worse and I really thought we needed a change in dosage. But Dr. didn't want to change anything yet because he often sees behavior worsen at the end of the school year due to stress/weather change/etc.
But things have gotten worse since last week. The nasty talk, arguing, overly emotional and even violence/destruction has gotten worse. It's so hard to deal with; it's hard to see my son act like that. Today he tried hurting Grady, whipping him and throwing a giant red ball at him so he'd fall off the porch (all this while under the "influence" of his medication.) I had to beg the dr's office to get him a new appt (since his next one wasn't until July) and I admit, I cried at them cause I'm so frustrated (pregnancy and frustration don't mix well.) They were able to squeeze him in next week. It's going to be a long week.
I'm angry at all this. I'm frustrated. I hate feeling this way. I hate spending my time yelling at Aiden when I know he can't totally help it. I really want to take away his bagpipe lesson and baseball game for tonight but I can't bring myself to do it yet because it's the only things he loves and is relativity calm during. I HATE HATE ADHD. I HATE that the only thing his biological father ever gave to him is this stupid stupid disorder.
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